Weren’t you a friend?

They say all extremes are demarcated by a fine line; well, I call it a thin line.

Love and hate

Indifference and emotions

Stoic and sensitive

But in real world, far, far way from theory, the words only become mere instances of an oxymoron rather than being something poles apart. Or let’s just say circumstances subjugate them to be so; to bow in servitude in the ever kind embrace of fate and destiny.

.

.

But, you

 Yes, you.

Weren’t you a friend when I applied that extra layer of kohl in my eyes and you veiled me from the audience, swiping off that extra, accidental stroke to save me from the humiliation that would have wrecked me for the years to come?

Weren’t you a friend who listened to my inhibitions about meeting a dentist for that tooth ache that bothered me for the last 8 weeks, and soothed me from the anxiety of what I would call “dentist will pull away all of my teeth” ?

Weren’t you a friend in that rainy night when I got drenched in the rain and you watched me, scolded me, watched me again, smiled, and then gave in to my crazy antics as I pulled you closer, jumped in the puddles and made you get drenched too in the incessant shower?

Weren’t you a friend whose ears were the first to know about the first lie I ever told my parents about never making it to the scholastic decathlon, because I simply didn’t want to engage in that battle?

Weren’t you a friend I called late in the night, 2ish, 3ish, I don’t recall, yet the reminiscing talks about life and the future?

Weren’t you a friend I made crazy demands to, from glory and gore, to bringing the ever antique and powerful hammer of Thor?

Weren’t you a friend I spoke about my fear to, from the apprehension of broken dreams to the fear of losing you?

.. And then there is

Again a fine line

A wall invisible, and impossible to climb

Demarcations, are they necessary?

When we can be, just we

United by constellations,

Under the peace tree

But then there were thin lines, and we were back to theory.

I find some notions amusing, where are these standards from? 

Who is the jury?

.

.

“Got you!”

I winked as I caught his awkward gaze

His lips brushed mine,

And now suddenly, everything was strange.

Return if Possible..

Just read somewhere- How good life would have been if RIP stood for "Return if Possible" rather than "Rest in peace"

Possibilities are always dicey..
Be it good or bad..

There comes a time, one can't evade themselves from the "Blame Game"-
For all the sins we have committed, all the times we have hurt, all the wrongs, all the unjust..

Sometimes, we are bound to feel..
If we could change things..
If we could amend things..
If we could make it better..
If we could stop the time, which seems to fall like sand from our fists..
..And what not?

To that one sin, where you feel a person would have been alive,had it not been your fault for their life to end?
To that one sin, where you feel you could have stopped a tear from a person's eyes, had you not committed a mistake..
To that one sin, where you feel you could have made a person retain his/her trust on life,had you not broken your promises..

.. Endless, yet again..

Death is the Reality..
If only life could be the same..
Something momentary.. & something perpetual..

And all You could do is.. stand still, with eyes blinded by tears and whisper-
"Don't Go.."

But will they return?
Will they understand?
..Or will they just rest.. ?
In peace.. or distress...

Well, who knows..?

Do check this out..as I recommend it to be viewed in reference to this manuscript..
[P.S.- Anti Rock persona's, feel free to back out!]

- Irene S

..Why the Trial & Error.. ?

Some mazes are interesting to solve.. Some take a hell lot of patience.. Whereas, some remain to be an impossibility.. Yet, people not possessing a dictionary with the word "impossibility" somehow try to solve it.. and some, even make a way out of it..

TRIAL & ERROR- A principle, likely to be implemented on everyone's life.. and every darn situation.. As if, without it the world doesn't exist!

But.. Why seeking Trial and Error, for something.. which is not even worthy of it?

Why.. Try? When the journey is futile..

They say.. The one who cannot handle you at your worst.. can never deserve to be at your best..

They say.. The one who cannot be a part of your sadness.. doesn't deserve to be in your happiness..

.. And it goes on.. Like a never ending circle.. & we go round and round.. never stopping.. Never understanding..

The bullets can kill us.. because we aint made of a type that are immune to 'em..

Feelings break us.. because we cannot hold up to 'em..

Love hurts us.. because we give the audacity to someone, to do that honor!

People betray us.. because we never stop building castles in the air.. and painting it with something called "Expectations.."

But in the end.. we forget, what is worthwhile.. and what is worthless..?

We let people pontificate.. We let them stay opinionated..

We let 'em judge..

But in this process, we tend to forget.. that No matter what you do, no matter what you feel, no matter how righteous you are.. - The one who has to consider you wrong.. WILL always continue to get you wrong..

And the one who has to get you right..-

Well, that one person, wont need any justification at all..

So, don't let a vicious remark hurt you.. Don't let a beautiful compliment elate you..

Because the world is big.. People are endless.. Encounters are definite.. Changes are inevitable..

But when you don't let things effect you, when people's pontifications don't matter to you anymore.. And when you are free from the garland made of something called "Manipulation".. THAT is when you can call yourself- Invincible..||

So, be bullet proof from the bullets made of lies..

Be immune to masquerades,otherwise called "camouflage"

And be loyal.. to someone, called "YOURSELF"..

Elucidation?

..Do watch this-


-Irene S

Angels are watching over You..

"Angels are watching over you.."  -

..Thats the exact thing which Mary Winchester said, when Dean was to be born (Supernatural, Season 5)
But what in the Reality?

When one feels like giving up in life.. and giving in to futility..
When the dark passengers in you outnumber your very own soul..
When nothing seems valid but death..
When your mind can't differentiate between the real and unreal..
When baffling coincidences don't appear flabbergasting to you, anymore..

When the only logic prevailing seems to be "escaping" ..
Would the Angels still be watching over you?

Is there an angel, who is your saviour?
Will that angel be there when the world around you is breaking?
When the end is coming?
When you want to evade the condition called "Life" ..?

Does that angel exist.. even if in the form of a mere human being.. who would always want you to live?
Who would always want you to be merry?
..Who would do anything to be your Saviour?

Maybe yes..
Maybe no..
Who knows..

But even if your angel doesn't exist.. you can always exist as an angel to someone..
An angel who would save its beloved from being hurt, an angel who would fight the universe for the sake of its love.. An angel who would shed tears, for a single pain caused to its love.. An angel who would always protect its beloved from the eyes of the sinners..

An angel.. Who would restore life in its beloved.. and cheat death.. If it tried to steal its beloved's soul away..
Can't You..?

-Irene S

When Loneliness Strikes..

God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another.
                                                                               -William Shakespeare


Given the world with many people.. some varied, and some stereotyped.. But yet that one moment when from the entire universe you feel detached..

..And that is when Loneliness strikes..
Some call you a lonesome victim, some call you maniac depressive..
And sometimes, what others call you doesn't make any sense,nomore.. for you are in captivity of dicey situations like Schizophrenia, Split Personality, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder..and the list is endless..

Its good to be out of the crowd.. Its not good to be out of the crowd..
Its good to be different.. Its not good to be different..
..Such questions and situations never abandon us..
DO THEY?

When there are people in this very same world in which YOU live.. Who suffer from sick things called Necrophilia and addiction to BDSM.. 
..And you called yourself weird, eh?
When there are people in this very same world.. who can kill their very own family.. who have homicidal tendencies.. & you thought you were the one who is pathetic in life?

When there are people in the world, who literally still practice incest.. & you thought, you don't deserve to live?

When there are people in the world, who are sadistic.. & you thought, dying is the only option?

Instances maybe endless.. people may get it or they may not..
But deciding the verdict aint our task!
The Almighty has created an individual with a purpose.. & serving it should be one's sole aim..
When loneliness overshadows you.. think of what makes you sustain.. the reason.. 
When you think of letting go..wonder why did you hold on to it this far?

The quote by Shakespeare at the commencement of this post says it all.. Realize your worth, utilize it, live it.. do it!
And when loneliness strikes?

.. When Loneliness strikes, Fall in love with yourself..
That's the best you can do...
To you..
To the ones you Love..
To the Almighty.. ||


- Irene S

Dark is the way..Light is a Place..||

When Dark meets the Light

They say that the time between 3.00 am - 3.30 am is not good. Maybe because of the formulation or the belief of the power of the Anti-Christ!

But this time seems nothing bad.. Atleast not being in my shoes.. Having visited a nearby  Cemetery over here at such an odd hour of the night..

Dawn- That shall be more appropriate.. 
For, the sky looks just like this right now-

So, a cemetery is all what suggests the end..

The Ultimate..||

The graves do make you wonder, that- Is the belief of the Egyptians to have "Life after Death" really true?

If it were so..

Then why this Stillness?

Why no voice?

Why no whisper?

Why no soul?

Why no EXISTENCE?

Why N-o-t-h-i-n-g?

Maybe.. because its just the Other Side..|

Which one can't "see" .. unless, there we "be"..

And then, there is Fear..||

But what is it that we fear?

Death?

Ghosts?

Loneliness?

Futility?

... I believe.. we must fear ourself!

What does it feel like.. to have your own soul, your very own shadow turn against you?

I wouldn't really like to bring in the theories of Matter- Anti Matter..

But its just something else..

How would it be, when you can see your own negative self in front of you, trying to suck away your darn life out of you?

.. WE are all sinners..

And we know this.. very much.. deep down under..

No matter how.. No matter what, we do..

Be it just a lie we tell, a betrayal we commit..

A pain we give.. Or just hurt someone..

Not even for someone's good..that's not how one can defend one's opinion/thought/idea about life..

Noone can decide for others..

Who gave us that right?

And who defines R-I-G-H-T-E-O-U-S?

No Human Being can..

Because, we are among those.. who has a demon  as well as an angel residing in us.. Its imbibed in us ever since our birth..Though, Empericists say that when we are born.. our mind is a "Tabula Rasa" meaning blank sheet of paper..But me, being a moderate empericist, cannot defy the ideology of the Rationalists either.. that we "do" have some Innate ideas.. ever since our birth!

And hence that angel and demon are always playing hide and seek in our minds.. ever since we come into existence..

It just varies .. which is more dominant  and when?

But then.. there is also something, that binds us all?

What is that?

LOVE?

No..

Love is just too much secretion of the Oxytocin..

The need and hunger for survival, binds us all!

Wearing the masks, playing in the stage called LIFE..

Nothing but a Masquerade Party.. where we all are something else underneath that joyous piece of attraction..

Something else from what we portray ourselves to be..

Beneath the Layer.. called "Lies"..

Ever wondered?

How and what it would be to stand in front of the mirror and have your own reflection NOT follow you anymore?

How would it be for your reflection to not behave the way you do? Not follow the commands of YOUR existence?

Because, you believe it or not..

Dark and Light.. go hand-in-hand..

As, we have both of 'em IN us..

The Demon( Dark).. The Angel(Light)..

And just when the Dark meets the light.. a new life blossoms into existence.. & The moment they are apart..

That is when "we" depart..

...... So, Dark is the way, Light is a place!

Do think about it..

Maybe, only then..

You can Reconcile the violence in your heart..

Recognize that the beauty is not just a mask..

Exorcise the Demons in your past..

Satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.. ||

And Readers, if you didn't get what that meant..

Just see this-

-Irene S

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (In Fond Memory of Raipur)

Where to Start from, What to Write?
Its a difficult thing to do..
But..Let's get started with this,
Without further Ado..!!   :P


So, Let's start with my Best Friend,
To be fair enough!
Roshani- Or simply Rosh..
Describing her, is quite tough..

Tall Lade, Long hair..
The ultimate party planner..
Together, we have done things;
Such ideas, hard to garner!

Long hours of Chat..
Pranks and Scooty Rides..
Whenever we are together,
The spirit never dies!

Next comes.. Shubh Anjali..
The "curly" beauty..
Anju- as I call her,
My eternal "girly" soulmate, is she! :D

Discussing stupid things..
Which completely makes no sense,
But when its me and her..
Even it seems full of Prudence!  :P

Babe, sexy ,Darling-
That is how we address each other,
Is something wrong between us?
People always find it hard to discover! :D

All right, So next in the list..
Is Miss Pronali..
Have you ever noticed,if her name written this way.. (PRO- NALI)
Seems like, Professional- Nali?? :D

Well, jokes apart.. Simpy is what I call her..
Simpz.. Sounds much better..   ;)
A childhood friend, A guide..
Not to forget.. my "Hat Dance" Partner!  :P

A tomboy, A lady..
She can be all..
She inspires me in many ways,
Not to lose hope, even when we fall!

Next in the line,
Is my Dear Friend- Suprita..
Dimpy- as we call her,
That's much better! :)

We would play for hours..
Something we called "Ghar- Ghar" :P
She would always be the elder sister,
And I- the Younger!  :D

Anjali- her favorite name..
And Sonia- used to be mine!
I wonder how we grew up so fast..
We really can't question the time!

Not to forget in this context,
Our dearest friend Shruti,
Chunnu- as we call her..
The fun we used to have, we Three!  :D

Remember the times, we acted?
To be Khushi, Shruti and Sanjana?
The mockery we did of the show..
Some Ekta Kapoor stuff, called "Koi Apna Sa"?? :D :D

It will be unfair for me..
To not mention Anshdeep..
Ansh- as we refer to her,
Who always loves to sleep!

Cutie Pie!- That's what she named all her crushes..
And we wondered how many times it will change?
Can someone be a fan of Uday Chopra?
Well, Ansh was one such case!! :P :D

Then comes Suman..
Sumi- as we know her!
How we became friends?
Its unusual for one to wonder!  ;) :P

From orkut.. to Accounts tuition,
A journey so far..
I really miss those moments..
Of us, wandering in Avanti Vihaar..!

We've been together..
Throughout Thick and Thin..
I hope in every "test" of life..
we always win!  :)

Then there's someone..
Whom I can't forget ever..
Dona di.. or say my "Raj"..
To whom, one can completely surrender!

A pillar of strength..
A mentor, a friend..
I miss our sleepovers..
Our talks, till the end!  :)

Another person, in this list..
So sweet and witty.. ;)
My friend since XII grade..
She's none other than- Ridhi!  :P

The best time of in XII..
Solving questions from Xam Idea.. :P
I miss those days of combined studies..
And wish we were near!

How can I forget Aparajita?
Pari- as I call her..
She taught me words in marathi..
Which were so hard to Decipher! :P

XII C.. same bench..
Together, we did great wonders :D

I seriously miss our fun..
Deep down under! :)

That's it from the Girls' Quota..
Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, Kindly make some noise!  :P
'Cause Its time for none other than..
Our Desi Boyzz!! :D :D

Let's start with this person..
Called Bhavya Haswani..
God! It sounds so formal..
I simply call him- Bhavani!  :D

We fight for hours,
And talk for minutes..
Don't respond to each others' call..
For the argument, to win it!  :P

One moment- A weirdo!
The other moment- A guide!
That is how he is..
To all our utter surprise..!

Next comes a guy,
Who has been a friend since P.P.I.
Ashish Philip- his name is,
Brother! Sounds all done!

Remember the days..

We went to school together?
I would always command him..

And he would always surrender!! :D :D

Well, that's how its ought to be..
Cuz I am his sister.. ;)
Thanks for being there with me,
Every time.. No matter!

Next in the league,
Is sankalp- My son!
Machchi- he called me in Tenth..
What a class of all fun!! :D :D

Anju and I on both sides of the Bench..
And he in the middle!
Bechara! He became a victim..
Between girly talks, like Riddles!! :P :D

Remember, what we named Anju?
Billi Mousi........... :D
And he would explain me Math Problems,
What a pity to be!

And then we have someone,
Named Mrigank dubey..
Sometimes, a friend in the story!
And sometimes, villain in the play..! :P

In Sixth, we sat together..

And he helped me with Math :P
And in Tenth, don't know what happened..
But he just had some wrath!  :-|


Nevertheless, its bygone..
And things get better..
Remember the grade X thing..
Now, I can't control a laughter!! :D :D

Can't help mentioning..
The next person on the list!
Abhijit Tagade- as we know him,
Certainly an upcoming professor and Fine artist!

Math and Physics is what always occupied him..
Way back in grade Ninth..

Asking "me" the Refractive Index of Glass..

OMG! "That" was the height!! :-O :D

Always talking in class..
Me, him and Shriya..
SAS congruency- the class made,
How can we forget Dutta ma'am's punishment ever?

Next comes, quite a famous guy..
Named Mr. Ali!
Aladdin- as I named him..
A friend.. and a brother- is he!

He made awesome stories..
With great interesting plot..
And I used to be his full-time listener,
Always giving good feedback, no matter what!!  :P :D

We made plans of doing Business..
Of everything Possible.. :D
It feels great to recall,
The days we discussed Titanic and some novels! :)

Then, we have Shubhang..
Shubbu- as I call him!
My childhood buddy and a great persona..
He has always been!  ;)

We did our homeworks together..
Way back in Grade Two..   :P
We certainly had a gala time,
With everything, we had to do!

A Style Icon, he is now..
Definitely an upcoming model..
Wish you all the luck..
May you overcome all the hurdles!! :)

Next, we have with us..
Nikesh Panjwani..
My friend since VIII grade,
I named him- Statue of Liberty! :D :D

Certainly, it was a laugh riot..
When we were Eighth Grader..
He would dance in the Recess.. :P

And we RE-NAMED him.. "Tarannum- The Bar Dancer" :D :D

Not to forget XII grade..
Kundru's class of English.. :P
He would make hilarious comments,
Giving rise to the famous "Hinglish" :P :D

Next, is Tarun..
Tarz- as I called him :P
A brother, a dear friend..
And me- a sister to him!  :)

Known him since XII,
Yet its like ages..
Remember the "pareshani" we had to face,
While making the Computer projects?? :P :D

C++, Business studies..
Fun days @ Nishikant Sir's coaching..
Masti and fun loving..
That is how we have always been!

Not to forget, another friend..
Named- Shikhar..
Definitely my inspiration in many ways :P :D
Though hard to wonder!  :P

A bhai.. A dost,
An upcoming Star!
Wish you a perfect life,
Just like a shiny new guitar! :)



Well, lines will be short..
To express my view..
Friends must be real..
Even if- Few!

Life may change..
Things maybe new..
But not to forget..
I would always miss Raipur and All of you!!  :)



- Irene S

{P.S.- As i complete two years here, in Kolkata.. I wanted to say..that I still belong to Raipur.. and this was solely dedicated to everyone.. who makes Raipur "unforgettable" for me.. :)  No hard feelings, Take care! Keep rocking! \m/  }